Maniacal late night chat

 This is one of the craziest of chat's I have had. Late night talks are insane. While we were chatting that day, we had lost our senses laughing hard and were going nuts LITERALLY!! while having a knowledge about few things which are considered tabboo in society to talk with such liberty, it's necessary to know about them. and those of you who think girls not ought to talk about such things in public, then I'll suggest you grow up and change your perspective. because, when it is handeled with dignity, even delicate matters like *sex* is not offended and do not demoralize the female-side.

Who's who: 

Shanny: My friend from twitter with immense patience to digest the saddest jokes, PJ's and our useless emotional talks!

Me: Chavanni :D

Momo: Elderly person even though she's all of 22 as of now

18+: THE protagonist of this chat, the underage adult! :D

2:49 AM 

18+: Aur batao....kaisa tha aaj ka din

 Shanny: din ekdum super boring :(

 me: kyun?gf  k saath baat toh ki

2:50 AM 

Shanny: GF?? :/ meri gf nahi hai:(

 18+: noodles noodles noodles  

Shanny: abe kamino…wo meri virtual gf hai

2:51 AM:

18+:  jo bhi hai koi bhi ho gf is always a gf

 me: whts ur age shanny?

 18+: he is 20

  Shanny: 20 abhi 21 hounga april mein

2:52 AM 

18+: tu toh sach mein fool hai April main paida hua na

 18+: tu kitni purani hai chavanni??

  

 2:53 AM 

me: 19

18+: chalo i m the youngest abey i m only 18 tere se bhi choti hoon

2:54 AM 

 me: u doing diploma na? Which year?

18+: 3rd year

2:55 AM 

Shanny: acha... matlb main yaha pe sabse buddha hu

 18+: haan

2:57 AM 

 me: buddha kyun? 20 is just out of teens!!

 Shanny: abe ye 18+ ko aise faaltu joke maarne ki aadat hai :P

 2:58 AM 

18+  haan yaar tum logo se hi sikha hai clg mein sab log gussa kar rahe hai

 Shanny: faaltu jokes pe?? :/

2:59 AM 

18+: haan

 me: :D

 3:00 AM

18+: main hamesha joke thodi na karti hoon atleast tum logon ke gande jokes ki tarah toh nahi hote

 Shanny: humare jokes kaafi ache rehte hai samjha naa?? X-(

  18+: ache??? gande jokes rehte hai

 3:01 AM 

  Shanny: abe 18+ ko jokes samajhte hi nahi hai… :P

 18+: jo mujhe toh bilkul samaj mein nahi aate

 Shanny: tu bachi hai be

3:02 AM

18+: 18+ ka matlab?? bachi ke samne aise baat karat hai koi??

 me: kaisi baat?

 18+: main kyun bolun???i dont speak bad things

3:03 AM 

 Shanny: jaise hum log bad things bolte hai???

 18+: haan tum log bohat bad things bolte ho

3:04 AM 

Shanny: hum sab general knowledge ke things bolte hai...wo bad nahi hote :P

 18+: general knowledge???

 me: we understand it mutually…we dont talk it out

 Shanny: aur nahi to kya???

3:05 AM 18+: mujhe toh aisa general knowledge kisi ne nahi sikhaya na school mein aur na hi clg mein

 Shanny: useless hai fir tu to :P

 18+: kyun??

 Shanny: ye sab self study hota hai

3:06 AM

18+: bade log badi baaten main toh choti hoon

 me: abe tu inni choti nai hai!

 Shanny: ur 18 ryt??

 me: 18 is tu adult hai!

 18+: nah

 me: wht no?? legally bhi u r an adult !!

3:07 AM 

 Shanny: u r allowd to watch A rated muvees in theatres :D

 18+: hat mujhe nahi hona

 me: hehehehahaha

 18+: A rated muvees ??? ka matlab??

 me: faints oxygen lao

 Shanny:  facepalm

3:08 AM 

18+: kya hua??

 me: abe tu kaunsi college main diploma kar rahi hain?? sarkari ki private?:-P

3:09 AM 

18+: GPT, private hai kya hua?? maine kuch galat kaha??

 me: kitne log ate hain college main?

 18+: bohat saare hai kabhi count nahi kiya (As if I really asked for the statistics!)  :D

 Shanny: tu akeli aisi sample hai... ya tere jaise aur bhi hai??? :-/

 me: ye toh sab facevalue par le rahi hai :/

3:10 AM 

 Shanny: abe 18+ seriously... dont tell me u dont kno A rated muvees???

 18+: sachi mein i dont know

 me: school main kabhi seminars nahi hue kya?

3:11 AM 

Shanny: * banging head on the table *

 18+: jaise ki??

 me: hahah jaise ki?!?

 18+: seminars jaise ki??

 me: jaise ki...sex education? tera science hai na?

 18+: haan science hai

Shanny: seminars nahi to atleast self study to chahiye

3:12 AM 

me: toh science main 11th 12th sab rehta hai

 Shanny: arre wo 10th k baad diploma kar rahi hai :P

 18+: haan shanny is right

 Shanny: arre 18+.... plzz google it

 3:13 AM 

me: abe par syllabus to same hoga naa n tenth tak bhi toh bahut kuch rehta hai google it

 18+: sachi? Pakka?

 Shanny: seriously!!!

 18+: wait

3:14 AM me: wht u googling?

 Shanny: haan... wo bhi hai...:P

 18+: ye kya hai????

 me: kya?

3:15 AM 

 18+: ok samaj gayi

 Shanny: kya samjhi?

 18+: tu hi google karke dekh

 me: hahahha kiske baarein main google kiya?

3:16 AM 

 18+: A rated movies…mujhe abhi pata chal ki aise bhi movies hote hai

 Shanny: facepalm again

 me: tu cartoons dekhti hai abhi bhi? (:D)

 18+: haan y?

 3:17 AM 

 Shanny: seriously... dont tell me tht u dont kno abt this stuff??? :O

3:18 AM

18+: kuch ka matlab?????

me: u r gonna kill me making me laugh kuch matlab kuch

 Shanny: ur 18!!! :o

 me: gulbarga main sirf zhadiya hain kya?

 18+: i know but itna pata nahi

 me: shit!!

 Shanny: abe i didnt tell u to google abt a rated movies idiot...

 me: hahahaha

 18+: thn???

3:19 AM 

 Shanny: making typos while typing and laughnnig togetrh

 18+: abhi hasna band karo

 me: underage adult!!

 Shanny: adult(?)

3:20 AM 

18+ :|

 Shanny: wtf!! ... Seriously I’m still thinking 18+ natak kar rahi hai

 18+: kaisa natak?? i really dont know much abt these things

3:21 AM 

Shanny: 18+... dont search abt A rated movies on google... first reseach abt sex education...fir baaki sab apne aap pata chal jayega

 18+: mujhe nahi chahiye rehne de

 Shanny: seriously planning to bang head on the table

3:22 AM 

18+: papa told ki sirf acchi cheeze sikhna

 me: checks if the table is made of wooden or metal ROFL

 Shanny: wooden hai mera table

 18+: bas karo u'll break ur head

 me: phir toot jayega aaram se hahaha

 Shanny: abe... WTF!!! ye "achi cheeze" se jyaada "useful cheezon" ki baat chal rahi hai

3:23 AM 

18+: useful kaise honge?? pagal hai kya?

 me: *maa kehti hai duniya main sirf do kism ke log hote hai..acche log aur bure log* :D (I am going mental anyways!)

 Shanny: plzzz samjha isko!

 me: banging my head already

 18+: main acchi hoon

 me: hum to paapi hai

3:24 AM 

Shanny: haan… maine to kitne paap kar diye :P ROFLMAO!!

 18+: paap kiye?? ab tu paapo ka prayashchit kaise karega?

 Shanny: haaan be... itna sab knowledge hai humko wo to teri nazar mein paap hi hai naa???

3:25 AM 

 me: lol-zzzzzzzzz 18+ ki sharan main chala jaa...

 Shanny: plz is 18+ ko thoda samjha!!

 me:needs a break

  

3:26 AM 

18+: kyun meri khichai karne pe tule hue ho??

 Shanny: abe yedi... kheechai nahi kar rahe hai serious talk chal raha hai idhar

18+: haaaaaaa kitni acchi baaten sikha rahe ho

 3:27 AM

Shanny: abe... idiot!!! u need this knowledge...tera husband ayega naa....to kya karegi tu?

18+: mian kya karun???

18+: ayega toh ayega usme kya hai?? ( right, ayega to ayega, what’s the big deal?!)

 Shanny: literally ROFLING

3:28 AM 

 Shanny: &*%#&^$

 18+: &*%#&^$ censored??

 me: yes! peace!

3:30 AM 

me: tera fav actor kaun hai (Totally irrelevant & unnecessary question)

18+: shahid y?

 me: accha aur?

3:31 AM 

18+: aur koi nahi tera bhi shahid hai na

 me: ya..kind of, not always..

 Shanny: hollywood mein?

18+: i dont watch hollywood movies zyada but i like brad pitt

Me: I like brad pitt too…ek kaam kar…tu murder movie dekh le LOL (Really worthless movie to suggest I know! But anyways, who cared?! She wouldn’t understand)

18+: murder is not a good movie

 me: murder dekh le julie dekh le :P (Though, I myself haven’t watched both these flicks) aur hollywood ki koi bhi dekh le!!

 18+: julie bolke bhi film hai kya??

 me: haan

 Shanny: hey bhagwaaan uthaaa le

3:33 AM 

 me: 18+ ko!

18+: meko kyun??

 me: hahahaha

 Shanny:ek kaam kar, watch the full series of American Pie movies

 18+: y??

 Shanny: from part 1 to part 7

 18+: acchi hai movie??

 Shanny: and plzzz dont tell ur parents abt ur watching this

3:34 AM 

me: LMAO

me: abe shanny nai batana chahiye tha!

 Shanny: abe ghari maar khalla asta mag?? (If she would get beaten for watching those movies then?!)

 me: nahi!

 18+: ya kaun se language mein baat kar rahe ho??

 me: ti swatahach itki changli aahe, ghari kalaychac prashnach nai

(she’s so Innocent, she would not let know her parents about it :D)

3:35 AM 

 Shanny: heheh... naahi nahitar last tym sarka... ghari vicharte mhanun sangat hoti naa???

18+: maar khaoge abhi

 18+: tum dono bohat bure ho

 Shanny: LOL

 me: tera haath pc ke bahar ata hai kya pitayi karne ko? (saddest Pj I kno!!)

 Shanny: HAHAHAHA (still he managed to laugh)

3:36 AM

Shanny: sun.. 18+...wait....

18+: y?

Shanny: ek baat sun.... leave murder and julie

3:37 AM 

Shanny: have u ever watchd any movie which has a (A) written on the certificate tht comes b4 the movie?? like the other things which come are (U) and (U/A)

18+: i did not concentrate so much

 me: :D :D

Shanny: bhoot wala movies dekhti hai??!!! (Out of total frustration)

 3:38 AM 

me: hahahaha

18+: haan mast rehte hai(Without any regret of not understanding what we r talking about – Innocence at it’s peak, childlike !)

me: kaunsi dekhi bol abhi tak

18+: abhi click dekhne ka plan bana rahi hoon

 Shanny: click comedy hai!! :D :P :D

 me: abbe kaunse dekhe woh bol!!

3:39 AM

18+: grudge, paranormal activity

 me: ye toh sab hollywood hai na aur bolti hai hollywood dekhti nai

 Shanny :phew

 18+: dekhti hoon hollywood par sirf woh jo papa leke jaate hai

 me: (what! Like seriously?!) I wanna die right now !!

 Shanny: tu frnds ke saath kabhi muvee dekhne jaati hai???

3:40 AM :

 Shanny:  dono saath mein marenge

 18+: no..frnds ke saath kahin bhi not allowed

3:41 AM  

 Shanny: abe... c.. den do 1 thing.... plzz use this wonderrrrrfull resource called internet get some knowledge....u F*****ng need it!!

  (sry for the profanity...cudnt handle it :D)

 18+: dont use bad words plz abbe paap lag gaya tujhe

 Me: ???!!? she’s so right !! :P

3:42 AM 

 Shanny: abe chavanni seriously.... i still cant believe ye sach bol rahi hai... coz i have never come in contact wid such a person of this age tht too :-/

 3:43 AM 

18+: this age matlab??

 Shanny: ur 18 for god's sake arggghhhhhh

18+: toh kya hua if i m 18??

Shanny: 4th standard ke bache tujhe seekha denge watevr u dont kno!!!

3:44 AM 

me: don’t you google anything?

18+: internet sirf isiliye liya gaya hai..mujhe apne projects nd seminars ke liye internet ki zaroorat padti hai..

3:45 AM  

Shanny: do u have any sites blockd on ur computer??

 18+: blocked sites matlab??

 Shanny: kaha patku apna sarr  ???

3:46 AM 

me: i knew shes gonna ask that try ur wall now..or door ( I seriously answered that lame question?!)

Shanny: meaning....some sites... tht dont open on ur system....even if u try to go... it is said tht it is blockd and u cant access

3:47 AM 

Shanny: WTF!!! :O

me: tila wtf kalala nahi ka?? tine parat nahi vicharla..ROFL ( Did she understand wtf?! She didn’t ask again ! :P)

 18+: phir se code language??

 Shanny: hahaha

3:48 AM 

Me :You  have any bro or sis?

 18+: haan ek bada bhai and one younger brother

3:49 AM 

 Shanny: wat does ur elder bro do?

 18+: same diploma final year

 Shanny: tu bhi to final yr mein hai naa??

3:50 AM 

 Silence…

3:51 AM  

Shanny: so.. do u hav any good friends there??

3:52 AM 

18+: haan not too good frnds sabhi bure hai yahan

 18+:tum dono mera interview le rahe ho kya??

 Shanny: are there any good frnds of ur wid whom u share secrets and all?? :-/

3:53 AM 

Shanny: u never hangout wid ur frnds??

3:54 AM  killing silence again..

3:55 AM 

18+: frnds ke saath kam only on b'day parties

nd parents ke saath movies dekhne nd hotels nd thts it

me:wht r ur hobbies 18+?

18+:  my hobies r to eat chocolates nd tv nd playing wid my brother that’s it

3:58 AM 

me: u telling d truth?

18+: haan y?

3:59 AM (staring ..blankly in my room…)

4:00 AM 

 18+: lol ye le science ka 7th std ka text bok

  http://ncertbooks.prashanthellina.com/class_7.Science.Science/index.html

4:02 AM

me: kyun?

18+: tune abhi pucha na

 me: kya?

18+: science ke baare mein

4:03 AM 

me: na...we said, tu padhlena!

 18+: tum dono mujhe kuch samjana chahte ho kya??

 me: abhi tubelight start hui???

4:04 AM 

Shanny: yes... 18+... peechle 1 ghante se hum tujhe kuch samjhaane ki hi koshish kar rahe the aur abhi bhi wohi chalu hai

 18+: sidha bolo kya samjhana chate ho.... itne question?? ( Ae lo! Kar lo baat ! :P ye to 3 idiots wale prof jaisa ho gaya !)

4:05 AM 

 me: sidha bola toh tujhe nai na samazhta!! LOL

 18+: kyun be main tum logo ko buddhu dekhti hoon kya??

 She’s still managing to ask that question!!?!

 4:06 AM 

Shanny: naah beta.... tu to sabse samajhdaar insaaan hai tere se badi samajhdaar insaan maine aaj tak nahi dekhi

me: shanny chup baith, I will die out laughing..

 4:07 AM 

Shanny: ok thts it.....!!!! sry if it sounds offending to any of u!!!....

  but 18+...do u hav any knowledge abt sex?? :/

 18+: haan  li'll bit

4:08 AM 

18+: pata nahi pura hai ya nahi par pata hai

 me: wht do u know then..tell us

4:09 AM 

18+: i only know is..ki tht shud b done after marriage...nd......thts it

 me: thts ur little bit??

 Shanny: abe im not askin abt time and place...

 18+: pata nahi..ye pura hai??

4:10 AM 

18+: abhi aur kya bolun??

 me: its not even 0.000001 %

 18+: matlab??

 me: u knw only this much?

 4:11 AM 

18+: haan y? itna hi pata hai..

Shanny: SORRY again... but this is getting tiring to get to the point...do u kno... wat is to be done?? :-/ not abt the time and place!!

4:12 AM 

18+: mujhe karna hi nahi hia abhi toh leke kya karun???

 Shanny: haan ya naa bol...bass...details mat bata :P

 4:13 AM :

  Both me and shanny: n why it is done?

4:14 AM 

18+: its done to hav a child

 Shanny: sumwat near the point :P

 4:15 AM 

18+: tum log ab tak ye samjhana chahte the??

  

4:17 AM 

me: haan wahi toh..tujhe kya bataya hai wht is sex n hw is it done?

 4:18 AM 

18+: i hav heard frm a frnd ki kissing is the first step to hav sex  she has a bf use pata hai

Shanny: aur kya?

18+: aur kuch nahi

 4:19 AM 

  

 Shanny: have u evr been out of ur place??

4:20 AM 18+: haan

4:21 AM 

4:22 AM 

4:23 AM 

me: tu shahid ke kaunse movie dekhi?

4:24 AM 

18+: sabhi

 Shanny: huh??? :-/

4:27 AM 

Me: u wer telling us abt ur frnd ka bf na

 18+: haan

 me: haan ji aage badh!

 18+: mujhe sirf itna hi pata tha ki uska bf hai woh dono milte hai hamesha

  

 4:28 AM 

 Shanny: wo teri achi dost hai??

 18+: nahhhhh not at all pura impression kharab hua hai uska clg mein

4:29 AM

Shanny: y?? bcoz she has bf?? :-/

4:30 AM 

 18+: haan sabka sab ko pata nahi hai na

 Shanny: to jiska hai.. uska pata chal gaya to impression kharab?? :-/

4:31 AM me: heheh

 18+: haan aisa hi hai sachi

 18+: ishapat

 Shanny: iShapath:P

4:32 AM 

me: aaishapat.. lol :P

Shanny: bass .. bak to topic :D

 18+: tum dono kyun de rahe ho??

 me: kya??

 18+: shapath? nd tum dono ko sona nahi hai???

4:33 AM 

me: “hai na, kal i have to get up in one hour almost now “ (even my sentences din’t make any sense till then!)

18+: 1hr?

 me: oye shanny?? yar tata main jaake project karna hai mera waat hai kal poora

4:34 AM Shanny: haan main hu yaha…

 4:35 AM 

me: 18+ bol na

18+: kya bolun? mujhe laga sab maun vrath pe hai toh main bhi chup ho gayi accha joke tha??

 Shanny: (??!! accha joke?! )

4:36 AM 

 18+: ye raaz hai pichle janam ka.. ( huh?? What is she talking about?! )

 Shanny: chal back to the education part... jo

4:37 AM 

18+: kya pucha tune ?

shanny :SEX SEX SEX

4:38 AM 

18+: mujhe pata nahi...kal research karke aungi

me: are wahhhh! kahan karegi reasearch?

 18+: kisi se puch lungi

 me: kisse??

 Shanny: facepalm ( I thought she would say google at least now, but no!!) :/

 18+: mom ko puchu???

4:39 AM 

Shanny: abe meri pyaari si dost … tere saamne ye itna bada knowledge ka bhandaar hai uska use kar

18+: knowledge ka bhandar??

 4:40 AM 

Shanny: google.com ka naam to suna hi hoga??

18+: haan haan pata hai

 Shanny: btw, u seriously dont kno wat it is?? and how it is to be done?? :-/

4:43 AM 

18+: mujhe jo pata tha..maine bata diya

  Shanny: tujhe pata hai bache kaise paida hote hai?? :-/

  

4:44 AM  

 18+: mujhe kya pata? mere bacche thodi na hue hai

4:45 AM 

18+: par discovery pe dekha tha

 me: kya?

18+: delivery

 Me:  sigh

18+: yay my first win in solitaire

 me: tu game khel rahi thi??

4:46 AM 

18+: haan side mein

 Shanny: abe yedi... tu idhar dhyaan de

 me: shit!!

  

4:47 AM 

Shanny: wo delivery ka starting process pata hai kya?? do i sound like a science teacher? :-/

 me: no, they dont talk all this

 Shanny: biology teachers do! :P

Me: they get shy, they give this part as homework :D

 18+: delivery ka starting process is jo pregnent hoti hai use pet mein dard hota hai (isn’t she brilliant?)

 4:48 AM 

Shanny: abbey usse pehle...?

18+: usse pehle pregnent hoti hai

Shanny: abe ...!!! kaise pregnant hoti hai??

18+: mujhe kya pata

Shanny: makkhi kaat -ti hai aur pregnant ho jaati hai?

4:49 AM 

 me: ( Lamely )kaunsi makkhi? (Ab to even I had lost my sanity ) :D

4:50 AM 

Shanny: @chavanni : main paagal ho gaya hu! i was typing random shit

   MoMo joined the chat

 me: rook na

  ab momo use batayegi

 Shanny: haan.. ryt..

  1....2....3.... start

4:51 AM 

 Momo: hey ppl!! ( Like she was fainted all the time and surprised at how she woke up!)

  hey!! just woke up!!

 me: pata hai.. its 4:51 

 Momo: slept at 11..

Shanny: okay!!

me: bas tera gungaan!!

Shanny: momo just woke up.... aur 18+ ne to humari neend uda di hai...

4:52 AM 

 18+: maine kya kiya??????????

 me: abhi pagal khane jaane ki taiyyari main the hum dono tune without kuch doing sab kiya

 Momo: kya chal raha hai??

18+: ya galat hai haan

Momo: lol... bataya chavanni ne..

18+: MAINE KUCH NAHI KIYA OK

4:53 AM 

 Momo: oye tum log is bechari bachi ko kyu sataa rahe ho??

 me: haailla

 18+: haan haan bolo bolo

 Shanny: haan... hu idhar.. :P

4:54 AM 

 me: i m nt tired...i m lolling( irrelevant gibberish)

4:55 AM 

 Momo: mereko koi pehle ka chat bhejo!!

 Shanny: abe tu padhte padhte buddhi ho jaayegi... itna bada chat hai

Momo: sex ed chal raha tha?

4:56 AM 

Shanny: yeah...

Momo: lol!!!!!

4:57 AM 

18+: meko nind aa rahi hai

Shanny: ruk 18+...

18+: ruking

Shanny: humari neend udake tu so nahi sakti

 Momo: lol...toh 18+... kaisa sikhaya yeh do teachers ne??

 Shanny: abe point pe aao...

 18+: maine kuch kiya kya???

4:58 AM 

Shanny: 18+ ko bhi samjhega ki usne kiya kya??  (Hahaha!) Whatte joke !

18+: abey Momo abhi tak kuch samaj nahi aya…sachi kya bolna chahtehai kuch bhi samaj nahi aya.. faltu ke questions puch rahe the

 me:18+ tune kuch nahi kiya aur karegi bhi nahi...we have confidence in you...

Momo: chavanni!! lol!!!

Momo: wait wait wait... ..

Momo: 18+... sweetheart how old r u?

18+: 18 aur tu? (notice the quick counter-question?!)

4:59 AM Momo: 21..

 18+: ok (neutral reations as if she had no idea what we are talking about)

 Momo: but wait.. tumlogonko school mein sex education nahi hua hai??

 18+: nope...

 me: abe ye ghisa pita swaal mat kar Momo..

Shanny: ye sab ho gaya hai....

  

Momo: arey shanny, chavanni... ek solid joke batau?? (wow! If only I had my energy to type no, I had already laughed like an insane the whole night…now one more joke?)

5:00 AM 

 Momo: you know when my class got formal sex education?

 Shanny: wen?

5:01 AM 

 Momo: 12th std!

me: yeah...hamare school main 5th 6th main diya tha

Shanny: i kno... hum log ko to formal sex ed mila hi nahi... 11th 12th mein bio jo nahi tha naa :P

Momo: by the time they gave us that 'education to love' lesson we all knew abt it and the best part was that is was given by a catholic nun!!!

5:02 AM 

 me: accha toh joke kidhar hai? (Phbbbt ! I don’t even remember asking such a stupid question !! 5:02am..and I was blank minded…)

shanny: where’s 18+?

 18+: khel rahi hun

5:03 AM 

shanny: abe tu khelna band kar abe dusra khelne ko bol rahe hai toh nai bol rahi haiROFL

hahahaha LMAO

5:04 AM 

18+: maine kuch bhi nahi kiya

Shanny: wohi to problem hai 18+.... ki tune kuch nahi kiya

Momo: 18+ tu tension mat le re..

 5:05 AM 

Momo: tumlog usko satao mat...

 18+: mere chote hona ka fayda utha rahe ho???( Aww, how innocent is that?! :/ :/)

 5:06 AM 

 18+: maine kya kiya??

5:07 AM 

Momo: abey jaa ke so jao na sab ke sab... 

 18+: dekho i did not do anything....(Perhaps she went in dementia now, repeating the same sentence)

 Momo: 18+ tu inlogonko rehnede..

5:08 AM 

18+: main mom ko hi puch leti hoon tum log rehne do she will tell me i guess

 Shanny: mom ko puchegi to kal online nahi aa payegi :P

5:09 AM 

18+: kyun? mom batayegi mujhe sab

Shahni: jab chahiye tab pooch

 Me: maar aur impression mar

@shanny: :D

 Momo: 18+... if you're close to ur mom, pooch...chup baitho be tumlog!

 18+: puchu????? sachi?

5:11 AM 

Momo: pooch... if you're close to her...

18+: ok toh puch lungi

 Shanny: Aur raat ko pakka grp chat pe milna sab log :P

 18+: atleast kal in dono ke class se toh bachungi haan aungi

  aur answer bhi karungi abhi toh research karungi hi

5:12 AM 

me: to ye tereko 3:30 ghante pehle kyun nai bolne ko aya!!!

Shanny: very good!!

Momo: lol research! i like!

BUT KUCH BHI KARKE GOOGLE NAHI KARNA OK?

Shanny: ye le...chavanni... momo bolti hai google mat karna

me: googling kyun nai karna??

 5:13 AM 

(Here comes the epic!)

 Momo: lisn beta... tu google karegi toh shock mein chali jaayegi ok...

 me: hahahahhahaeeeehhh' EPIC

 Shanny: hahahaha

 Momo: :D :D

5:14 AM 18+: thik hai frnds ko puch lungi

 me: abbe toh itni der se kya bol rahe the hum?

 Shanny: 2 ghante se wohi puch raha tha... ki koi frnds hai kya tere???

 18+: sirf frnds hai kya bolke pucha

5:15 AM 

Shanny: ab sir patak ke pure room ka furniture tod daalunga

18+: nahi nahi paise kharch mat kar

 me: hahahahahahhahahha

18+: recession ka time hai

5:16 AM 

 18+: “kyun gandi baate hai ye??”

 me: bas momo, tu do line bolke hamara credit nahi leke jaa sakti

  lolzzz

 Shanny: humara credit aur neend bhi! :P

 me: Am off to sleep now, can’t handle it anymore.

5:17 AM 

 Momo: bye.. aur isme kuch bhi ganda nahi hai ok!! damn it we all do it! (passionate all of a sudden out of irritation!!)

 18+: ok chalo bye

 Momo: bye!!

 Shanny: Bye.... FInal Good Morning....

 18+: maine kuch nahi kiya ok

 Shanny: i m gone!!

5:18 AM poof

The Gourmet in me…

I am a foodie. I am amused at how by mixing the same ingredients, you can create a different genre of food every time. Even though I do not enjoy cooking much; I love cooking non-vegetarian. Anything else would hardly make me go weak in knees as much as the chicken Frankie and rolls and fish curry. This made me to account few of the Indian delicacies which I had two years ago when I was on one awesome journey to explore the rustic India. I need not praise more; how scrumptious and flavorsome Indian food is. It’s already popular amongst people in the West and European countries. At last, every Indian would be in agreement with me on this. So here are the few amongst many in the menu of Indian cuisine.

1.    Maharashtra

Maharashtra, being my home state, I have grown-up having all the maharashtrain food, which is really healthy, and spicy? Well talk about spiciness and you have your tongue dancing after few seconds of having few chutneys and mutton curry. But if you the first-time visitor, here’s what you should try:

Puranpoli

Thalipeeth

Vada pao

“Varan-bhaat” (dal and rice) with lemon juice and pure ghee

Mumbai’s street pav-bhaji and pulao

2.      Goa

I had been to Goa just after my twelfth exams, with my CA coaching class trip. Beaches though not that beautiful now, were the influence for having hot and fresh fish curry. Goan fish curry is one of my favorites.

Vindaloo

Stir fried fish curry.

3.    Karnataka

Though I did not get a chance to particularly roam and eat kannadiga dishes, they were served on train. Dosa is easily available now-a-days and hence I am not referring to it as special food one should try when visiting the state.

Bisi bele bhaat

Mysore paak amongst sweet

4.       Kerala

Kerala is scenic as well as rustic. I have visited Kerala twice. And both the times I had sweet tasting coconut water with the coconut being almost the size of one huge watermelon.

Payasam is another dish

Organic coffee

5    Tamilnadu

With kannyakumari at its tip there’s a variety of food available like as the water. The confluence of Arabian Sea, Bay of Bengal and the Indian ocean.  Our train was halted at the Chetpet station for a day and was leaving late at 11pm from Chennai; I had Chicken chettinada in one of the shops on rail junction itself. Super tasty and filling. It would have been difficult for me if it wouldn’t be for one of friends to communicate with the shopkeeper. He wouldn’t understand my actions to give only the chicken curry and two rotis. Pongal was served for breakfast on train and rassam bhaat for dinner.

6.       Andrapradesh

When I think about Andrapradesh, all that comes to my mind is primarily the Nizams and fantastic delicacies they prepared. One of the best places to have biryanis in India. My friend who lives in Hyderabad was to leave the train as she had her doctorate exams in few days since then. And she was so generous to get me pack of Hyderabadi biryani from “Bavarchi’s”. The three main all time preferred places for biryanis’ in Hyderabad: - Bavarchi, Paradise and Baadshah. Though, any place you go in Hyderabad has the tastiest biryani ever made. Like literally. I have had it from the station shop the next year I went and also dared to have hyderabadi Pani Puri from the most unhygienic places one would dare to eat- immediately outside the station from the thellas. Lucky I took preventive medicines throughout my journey.

7.       West Bengal

During our travelling through Jamshedpur we were served Mishit doi - a sweet which a true Bengali would have it like crazy!

8.       Uttar-Pradesh

What more than the appetizing and aromatic lucknowi pulav and kebabs, biryanis’ and lucknowi chaat! We don’t get chaats’ like here in Maharashtra. May it be Mumbai then! I still remember   two of my friends had gone on a side trip on their own and while coming back got our group haldiram's dahi and lassi! Wonderful!

9.       Delhi

Delhi, being the capital city, one will find every type of cuisine there. Though chaat again is a specialty. People in Maharashtra are now gaining to know about preparing chaat and all. They try but it’s far from what the authentic chaat would taste like. For e.g., they say “bhel-puri” but there’s no “puri” only except in Mumbai.

10.   Rajasthan

Daal-baati is the plate you should look for in the menu. Actually you need not. It’s omnipresent in Rajasthan.  The most amazing part is when the ghee vessel is almost turned upside down! I didn’t like it much but anyways! And paani puri! Original place for puchkas’.

11.   Gujarat

Ah, Gujarat! This becomes my native place if you literally go by the meaning of “native”. Gujarati food is included in my daily meal as much as Maharashtrian food is included. And I love it nonetheless.

Khandvi

Handwo

Phaphda-chutney (normally papaya chutney goes awesomely with phaphdas)

Daal dhokli is again one of my favorite

And paani puri. When I am in Ahmedabad or Baroda or jaiselpur/jaitalmer, paani-puri is the only food I live on. Unlike here in Maharashtra, the paani-puri wala bhaiyya counts on the number of puris and not as per one plate. And its all the more fun having them with friends when we have competitions with each other.

Havmor’s ice creams are the ones you should not miss.

Ice-golas near law garden and ice-cream fares in the night in Rajkot!!

The Prejudice...

…It was pre-dawn.  The skyline had a beautiful azure due to the overnight drizzling; A chill in the usual breeze and a peculiar silence in her room. The book was lying open through the page she was reading last night. An I-pod was lying still on her computer desk. A bowl of her usual snacks of peanuts and jaggery was claimed by ants till now. A glass of water half full residing just besides it. And there she slept on her chest with her black and grey checkered boxers and a simple white sleeveless t-shit.  It has been quite a while since she had a peaceful sleep. Each night it would be one more effort for her to fall asleep. And today, was no different. She twitched, and then turned sides. Her eyes were sore.  She laid there with apathy and a blank mind. The moment her mind wandered, it nestled onto one person- HIM. The sole reason of her state right now. Person who had made her like that. He; who made her cry like a baby; crying yet cannot explain why. And yet she was invariably in love with him. No matter what he did, she couldn’t agree to hate him.  The thought flowed from the memories back to one single question, she had thought of almost every single day: Why does she love him? There was not a single prominent quality in him that she liked. Neither had she liked his persona nor any of his attributes. But she loved him. Crazy, one would definitely say. Even she thought it was pointless and crazy. Yet there was something…something which was not easy to know of, which was holding her back. Not as if she did not strive to move on. It was practical. After about 4 years of so-called relationship and continuous fights between them due to different temperaments; usually more aggressive just because till that time both had started to loathe the idea of talking with each other; they were practically in a cold-war nevertheless they would talk. Sometimes with I-would-prefer-dying -rather than-talk –with-you periods between them. This usually meant avoiding each other for few months and eventually end up talking again. And the odd part was she didn’t know if he is normally that psycho or just behaving like one. She didn’t know any of the things which were going on currently with her, or which happened to her. She just wanted to be relieved. Relieved from the heaviness of the heart. Relieved from the melancholy of the emotions. The unmanageable tension and her pregnant thoughts day in and day out. But where was the answer? What was that one thing that behold her from being happy?  She knew that happiness is within oneself and all that and she tried everything but in vain. It was first blush by the time she was back to her consciousness of her vicinity. Her mom had called her from the kitchen for morning tea, wiping her tears she went with a bright smile on her face.

Bucketful of Wishes...

Empire state building at dusk.

US.Open

Everyone has a list, plan or at least an idea of what they want to do, achieve or even not to do. Precisely, life does not blossom to everyone as they perceive and is one bizarre river winding through blinded turns. Every moment we wish, if the situation would not have been what just happened or else should have happened. And I tell you, it’s damn difficult to remember each of our desires, especially when there are thousands on the list :D So here’s to my bucket list. Looking forward that I will achieve at least, if not all J


1.      Become a CA.

2.     Buy a bungalow for my parents.

3.      Get a job in one of the big four.

4.     Visit Darjeeling, Jammu-kashmir and Andaman-Nicobar islands in India.

5.     Travel around Paris with my spouse.

6.     Become a CPA

7.     If time and circumstances prevail, get a MBA from Harvard, Wharton or GGU.

8.    Do a charity to orphanage and old age homes from my earned money.

9.     Support a child for its education

Santa Clara

10. Appear on the TV. (in 2008, while at Kanyakumari, panel discussion with Dr. R.A. Mashalkar, he had a chat with me on the dious.; Kishore Chaukar as well)

11.  Travel to Spain, Italy, and London.

12. Travel to United States of America and probably settle there.

13. Buy houses in Santa Clara :D, Pennsylvania and New York.

Summer Solstice

14. Travel to Australia.

15. Experience a solar solstice in Alaska.

16. Have a place equipped with what I want, at my hometown.

17. Go for a mini world tour (few of the selected places) with my parents, my spouse, and my in-laws :D

18.Visit the most number of cities and places in the world. E.g.: Rio de Janerio, LA, long beach, Florida, Malaysia, Phuket and surrounding islands...etc... You think the list would end here?!

19. Do water rafting.

20.  Able to hear others thoughts for a day.

21. Able to read others’ mind’s for a week :D

22.  Able to go into meditation like that of the saints.

23. Hold shares on my own wealth and see them making it large.

24. Street-perform a musical song with a band.

25.  Meet, Roger Federer, Sachin Tendulkar, Shahrukh khan, Ratan Tata, Rafael Nadal.

26.  Out of body experience

27.Fly in a hot air balloon in Las Vegas.

28. Learn to gamble and try my luck the Bond way at Las Vegas.

29. Have a vacation in Vegas and say “ what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” :P

30. Learn a new language: may be Spanish or Bengali after French.

31. Start my own practice as a CPA or CA J

32. Learn a few dance styles.

33. Learn to play guitar.

34. Give a surprise to someone.

Pune at Twilight

35. Go for a midnight drive with friends.

36.  A candlelit dinner on a beach.

37.Organize a pool party at my place.

38. Write a book.

39. Counsel someone.

40. Make a difference in somebody’s life J

41. Have a costume theme party

42.Learn to cook my favourite meals.

43.  Conquer my biggest fear.

44. Make a difference to my country.

45. Donate blood.

46. Build a sandcastle

47.Visit the seven wonders of the world. Have visited just one for now- The Taj Mahal.

48. Go for Underwater walking.

49. Kiss dolphins and swim with them.

50. Visit a volcano.

51. Fall in love again :D

52. Stay in love forever J

53. Go on a blind date sometime :D

54. Visit a desert.

55. Meet the person I want to, but somehow couldn’t after all these years.

56. Kiss in the rain.

57.Be the highest paid employee. :D

58. Open a leisurely business

59. Open my own charity foundation.

60. Die before my parents do and my spouse do.

61. Travel in a cable car in San fransisco.

62. Go on a cruise.

63. Learn skiing

64. Learn to surf.

65. Visit Hawaii

66.  Attend a tennis match between Feedex and Nadal.

67. Attend a football match of Manchester United.

68. Go to the Oktoberfest.

69. Own a Harley-davidson

70. Own a golden retriever.

SOCIAL MEDIA : GREAT ASSET TO ONLINE BUSINESS

This One is one of my articles, which I was going to submit for my college magazine hadn't it been for my perenially gay computer and its weird and mysterious way of behaving when i need it the most. Nevertheless, now I am posting it just because I want to preserve few of my written articles.

Disclaimer: The statistical part and few of the expert analysis is not made by me. I have just collected them from few sources online and otherwise.

Social networks are vibrant and constantly evolving. Yet the fact today is that Social media is beyond adding friends and sharing status. More and more people are getting involved in this area to perk up their business.But social media doesn’t stop with sharing information and interests with other people. By gathering people who you build relationships with, you also build possible business ventures and of course build more traffic for your online business. According to Jody Nimetz, author of Marketing Jive, there are five major uses for businesses and social media: to create brand awareness, as an online reputation management tool, for recruiting, to learn about new technologies and competitors, and as a lead gen tool to intercept potential prospects.
The following are the top ten company's which made a huge revenue and ofcourse customer relationship out of social media used by them. Facebook being the premier one.

1. Coca-Cola


Coco-Cola social media case study is one of the best examples available out there. The company was also named by Slate’s The Big Money as the brand “making the best use of Facebook,” and their well-publicized Expedition 206 campaign is billed as the company’s largest social media project ever. Coco-Cola has used several ways such as blogging, sharing photos/videos, tweets, social media apps to promote their brand and achieves huge success.

2. X-Men

During the movie release of the X-Men-3, “Last Stand”, it used the social networking site to promote itself. It added that all the users who will add the X-Men profile as a peer can use certain exclusive functionality. As a result of this media plan, almost 3 million members of the myspace.com community added X-Men as peer in just 1 month. The movie got a huge opening and it became the fourth-biggest movie in box office history.

3. British Airways

The airways launched the program Open skies. This program used social media and community marketing to promote itself. It created a corporate blog to influence the globe trotters. Managing Director Dale Moss even shared a blog with the common people so that they get to know about OpenSkies development. Then he discussed about the meal service and showed people the cabin classes.

4. Dell

Dell is usually known for its cost-effective methods that it uses and so it jumped in social media to reach people. Back in December, Dell reported that offers from its Dell Outlet Twitter account has booked more than $3 million in revenue attributable to its Twitter posts. It might sound like a small percentage for a company that books $16B in revenue annually–but a nice number however, especially in a dreary economy.
5. SAP

This third largest software company in the world faced a challenge in the year 2002. It wanted to become a platform company using NetWeaver. The company had to open its platform and allow the other developers to use the platform in order to solve their business problems. The company had to interact with several developers across the globe. As a result of which, the company gained global collaboration and adoption of new SAP products increased.
6. SeaWorld

The main aim of the Journey to Atlantis social media program was to develop contact with the coaster community and bring about alertness regarding Journey to Atlantis. Influential people said that social media will give a chance for SeaWorld to make inroads. So, 22 coaster enthusiast blogs and forums were recognized during its beginning period.
7. British Telecom

Corporate intranets use social media tools to promote their interests. Unlike other companies, BT has completed web liberalization project. The company wanted all its employees to excess social media sites. According to the company, these networking sites, gives a chance to change the way our employees relate with one another, with the customers, partners and also with the suppliers.

8. Starbucks

Mystarbucks.com got to know about the company and their customers through various social sites. They also used social media in order to promote their ideas. Moreover, the company has forums where the customers can directly interact with Starbucks representatives.
9. HP

HP social media case study is another good example, HP social media managers engaged experts who work daily with customers to develop relevant marketing content grounded in true client need and real-life business issues. By combining podcasting with blogging and traditional tech-media syndication, HP now validates its messaging via an extensive buyer audience review process that yields vetted, relevant content that HP marketing can deploy in its ongoing sales and marketing efforts.

10. StackSafe

Marketing professionals use social Computing technology in order to startup a community conversation platform. It resulted in better understanding between the company and its customers.


Every other product seen on televison now a days comes with a facebook page. This shows that this social media has gained momentum by getting used as one of the major tools for marketing, advertising, research, development there on, polling, etc. it's easy to use. Just create a business page and promote it ethically. so what are you waiting for? If you are one of the business person reading this and are still unaware of such a hype going on around you; you need to log in to one of the social networking sites and join the crazy carnival out there...!